Midget sex pt 2 tonight
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
