Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
