OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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