wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
well you can't waste a boner
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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