A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
