he wants to bone in the snuggie
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
