i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
