I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
