I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
