Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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