I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Who died my cat blue again?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
