If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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