Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
