there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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