yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
