I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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