Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
