I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
