I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
