How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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