Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
