Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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