Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
