just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
