You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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