Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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