Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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