it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh god it's open bar.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
