And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
