I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
