you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
