we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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