I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
