Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
