tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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