I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
