why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize