Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
