dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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