I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
