you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
