Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
