I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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