What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
