we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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