I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we're making bets on your personal life
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
