it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
