just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
