dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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