She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
