you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
